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WHAT IS FEAR?

This story was written purely for entertainment and is not for profit, and is not meant to trespass in any way on the holders of the rights to Starsky and Hutch.

My biggest thanks to Delia for all her help and encouragement.

 

Dictionaries define the word fear as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger. Okay, now let me tell you something.

I am more, much more than that…

Agitation?...Anxiety?...Bullshit! Let me make a point clear here. Maybe if you can picture all of that, just amplified thousand times, increased so much, that it causes your sanity to crumble, then you’ll be able to understand the real meaning of the word fear. This way maybe all of you will be able to get to know me a little better.

And let me make clear too, that those lame definitions that dictionaries have about me, don't fit, even in the smallest all that that blond guy, with somehow farmer looks, and his streetwise partner, felt along those too short, yet delightful hours I spent with them.

Yes. No doubt…In that long day, I had a great time with them both.

I remember perfectly that night, and how I began creeping sinuously, like a snake into the whole being of that blond guy, as the ringing of his nightstand’s phone banished the sleep from his mind and body. Of course, Blondie, being the clever guy he is, would need just a glance at his alarm clock to realize that at that untimely hour, that call could only be bearing bad news.

He picked up the phone while I kept flooding slowly every cell of his body, squeezing his heart with invisible hands. He couldn't see me, but he could feel my clutch in his guts, as I could sense the adrenalin rushing through his body…Hell, It was fun. Very fun and refreshing!

Then he heard his voice. Well, rather I should say his whisper. The other guy with whom that night I was having a great time with too, was only able to whisper a couple of words…And those two words gave me power enough to creep a little deeper into the blond ones body and soul.

"Hutch…help."

The partner of the blond cop, his best friend, was asking him for help in the middle of the night with what seemed to be the last ounce of his strength. By then, I was already comfortably settled in the blond´s guy very core, and I wasn´t any longer weak. I was powerful and almost palpable, covering every inch of Blondie’s skin like a heavy blanket, and also haunting him from every dark corner of his bedroom.

Almost too fast to even replace the phone receiver into its cradle, and while putting franticly on some clothes, Mr. farm boy rushed out of his apartment and into his car driving towards his friend’s place in which I guess, was the fastest speed he’d reach behind the wheel in his entire life. Adrenaline was pushing him. That and me too, of course. The blond one was nothing but terrified of whatever he was going to find at his partner’s apartment…What a shame…He didn´t know yet that reality was going to surpass his worst terrors.

A short time later Blondie stormed into Curly´s apartment using the spare key he keeps on top of his front door. As you already must know, they both have keys of their places hidden above their entrance doors for the other. And giving the many enemies those two have managed to accumulate along all their years in the force; people nasty, cruel, without scruples, willing to do almost anything to get to them, I don’t think I am wrong if I assume that those guys do enjoy having a good fright every now and then…If not, that of leaving their apartment keys within anybody’s reach doesn’t make too much sense, does it?

Sorry…I think I was rambling here. As I told you, until then, somehow the blond one had been able to hold me at bay, though I was still accompanying him along the ride to his partner’s… But as soon as he make out the crumbled form of Curly balled up on the floor of his bedroom, beside his bed, I become again the strongest character in that scene, getting truly, overwhelmingly out of hand…Yippee! I was having more fun with those two, in those few hours, than I have had in a long time, and you can bet, I was enjoying every single minute of trouble I was giving them.

Needless to say, there was going to be much more frightening moments to come in the next hours, when I’d be nothing but the absolute star of the show. The first one came when the ER doc told Blondie that his partner had been poisoned, and he was going to die. Sorry, but even now, despite the time passed since that night, the simple memory still makes me shudder in utter pleasure. There wasn´t any treatment possible. Any antidote they could give to that curly guy because the laboratory techs couldn’t trace the exact composition of the poison. Wasn´t that wonderful?...

By then, Curly was again awake, and mostly recovered from the effects of the sedative that the bad guy had given him. Of course, back then I knew who that scum was, but them, Blondie and Curly, were still in the dark about the identity of the guilty party.

Well, what I can say about the moment in which Blondie entered in the treatment room to be with Curly? He already knew what was going on as well, and the worried blond one knew it. Blondie was trying to hide his angst, his panic; to put himself together for his friend’s sake; Curly was doing the same thing for Blondie, but to no avail…. since the beginning of their friendship, those two had been unable to hide their feelings from each other, so there they were, scared out of their minds, sensing me clearly yet unaware of my invisible presence between them.

Meanwhile, I was just having the time of my life…

From then on, they were two men on a mission. Go out and find the man that, if they weren’t successful, in less than twenty-fours hours would be the killer of a police officer. The guilty party for the murder of David Michael Starsky…Or it’s Michael David Starsky? Hummmm not sure…Well, truth to be told, I don’t care too much about those petty details anyway. As long as the guy is willing to feel me and embrace me completely, unreservedly, I don’t give a rat ass on what his name is.

In those first hours of the search, they began riding the streets, with Curly still feeling good enough to drive that flamboyant red car of his, while looking for any useful information, any lead to prevent his personal nightmare from coming true.

“Any second thoughts about leaving the hospital?”Blondie asked his friend

“You?”Curly answered.

“I could be wrong …But I´ll still be walking around tomorrow.” Good! As Blondie uttered those words, I could feel myself growing even a little stronger and more at ease inside him.

“The doctor was pretty straight about my chances…As I see it…it's who do we trust time.” Hmmm…Not to good actually. Curly completely trusted his best friend to survive, and that, somehow lessened my power over him. However, I didn´t feel like I was losing ground at all, instead, as hours went by, I was growing bigger and bigger inside those men’s souls.

Now I remember a couple more of those outstanding, very enjoyable moments…Mind if I share it with all of you?...thanks.

The first one of them happened when the guys were going down the stairs of Bellamy´s apartment, after visiting him in their search for answers. Then for a brief moment, curly´s knees buckled and he was about to fall downstairs if not for the fast, strong hands of Blondie, reaching out for him and steadying him on his feet…Wow! What a wave of power I felt at that moment. In a split second, I was wholly back into Blondie’s head, as his poor heart pounded crazily into his chest like a bird that wanted to leave its cage.

Another one of those glorious moments happened in the entrance to the set where that guy, Janos was filming his kinky porno stuff.

Oh Jeez! When curly fell to his knees among waves of unbearable pain! For a moment there, I thought I was about to lose either one of my enjoyable, cute toys, or both of them, for all that matters. So big was the level of terror wrapping them entirely, that it seemed as if a heart attack could make Blondie or Curly fall dead on the spot

No doubt, with those two, I was doing fine. Just fine. And I couldn't help it, I felt quite proud of myself; you know. To take hold of little kids, weak women, or old people, isn’t fun nor a big deal either. Those folks are very easy to frighten and the simple sight of ordinary stuff like a spider, a strong storm or even an horror movie on the TV can be enough to call me by their side, to accompany them for at least a little while. But what I was conquering in those hours, was the minds and souls of two brave, tough men, pretty used to seeing the ugliest, meanest face of the world without causing much of a fuss out of it…Somebody should congratulate me for accomplishing such a feat, I guess.

However, the superb, greatest moment of my role in those events had yet to come. And it took place a few hours later by night and on the top of that roof where Blondie was trying to catch the bad guy, the man that had the answer to save Curly´s life. That blond guy was trying to catch the man without shooting at him, unwilling to use his gun and shoot at the only one person that could tell him the compound of the poison that was quickly stealing his friend’s life, yet aware that he was a very easy target, and that the bad guy was going to shoot him any moment.

Then, and as the blond one heard the shots from Curly´s gun, I noticed my control on him quickly escalating, rising until almost blinding him…that one was a sensation, that only I can define as the ultimate ecstasy. Blondie knew that Curly was going to die. That his friend had given up his last chance of surviving to save him. And that just terrified him.

Then though, and all of sudden something began to go wrong for me.

Something else was taking my place inside those men, slowly pushing me out, replacing me in their tortured souls.

As Blondie approached and Curly, the exhausted, dying man collapsed into his arms, I realized that, at least for a while, my time to leave them alone was about to come. Sure, they were still quite scared by the uncertainty of their fate, but you know, at times, one just sees, without a doubt, that the beginning of the end is close…That was what I was realizing at that moment, and to tell you about it, somehow shames me, but at that moment there was nothing that I could do to prevent it from happening.

As I told you I was being thrown away…Why? Well, it’s easy to explain, I guess. Turns out that those men had, and still they have a couple of allies. And as much as it displeases me, I wasn´t strong enough to fight them. What they had gotten to help them were too big adversaries for me. And even worse, I must admit that I don’t know much about them, actually. I just know their names. The way in which those guys, Blondie and Curly, know them…They are funny names by the way…

Those names are LOVE and THE POWER OF ME AND THEE. See? As I told you, funny names they are…

Still I wonder…What the hell can possibly mean them?

 

THE END

 

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